Last night I had a weird dream and it made me wonder. How mature could I be these days socially at school? In this dream I was given a second chance at entering kindergarten, this time with a full understanding of the English language. For those of you who don’t know, I was raised with Chinese and Taiwanese language only, so I remember being very confused in every school I entered even when asked about my name. In fact, in this dream, I was asked to participate in choir as well. I knew this could not be first grade but they gave me a full Manila packet with my name on it and told me where to meet all the other choir students. I was very excited. There was even a little change in the envelope like two dollars and fifty cents. And everyone was rushing to get places. People were all looking to see where to go. It felt like an episode of survivor because everyone was obviously much older than just first grade but having a difficult time finding the rooms they needed to find.
I woke up before I got there. But I found myself curious about how confident a child I might have been if I had had the same chances as others at success with being popular socially. Or would I have worse off?
I have been reading something that says that being joyful and less worrisome lends itself to bring curious. In other words, you attract opportunity by being positive. It helps to stay confident because people can entrust you with more responsibility and see that you are still well through it. Hopefully, it is a genuine confidence and one that can help others as well. Being able to confide in others is a strength because honesty is fundamental to happiness. For every joy we know we have seen sorrow. Honesty and joy is the ability to tell the story with the perspective and Grace that G-d allows us resilient time to live, flow, and move on from it.
If I remember correctly, Taiwanese is one of those languages where there is no past tense, and no future tense, so there is no need to conjugate. It makes me wonder how much the sense of time and urgency is felt in an island, and how true it is that Asian time or island time is very casual. In other words, everyone is always late, and now is always both everywhere and all the time with as much presence and pleasure as yesterday.
It’s very opposite the feeling I get from being from New York where being on time is so important and especially calling in sick when you are not going to be in to work or at school.
I mean, my father didn’t even know what day he was born, and he was a twin. That alone gives you an impression of how little importance that time had back then, particularly birthdays, and how different the culture was or perhaps still is.
Today, which is now two days later from the dream, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about sex, which got me to think that this might also be my philosophy about what a good story is as well. There are two good reasons for having it: the curiosity of self-discovery or for the mission of pro-creation with both ultimately having everything to do with how well the relationship goes with the other person. Lately I think the problem of our society is how hard it is to maintain healthy interpersonal boundaries with people especially with all the different hats we all wear and the many different ways we’ve learned to communicate these days with technology, roles, and the many different political situations that very much complicate each path. I’m hoping that whatever happens in this weird political climate, we learn to find some easier paths to make communication better, simpler, and more helpful especially for those who need help with advocacy.